For purposes of clarity, I will begin this post with two definitive statements:
- I do not hate dogs. I have been accused of this, but it is simply not true. I enjoyed dogs growing up. I even blogged about one of my favorites.
- What I do not care for are dogs in my house. So in that regard I am a non-dog-in-the-house guy. And herein lies the rub.
Non-dog-in-the-house guys are now the new smokers. We are not held in very high regard. Somewhere they are building little rooms for us to huddle in–separated from the majority–lest we spread our offensive attitudes. Perhaps legislators are considering slapping warning labels on us. In our crazy-for-canine culture we are dinosaurs.
Well, maybe it is not quite like that, but sometimes it feels that way–especially since almost everyone on both sides of my family now has one or more of the little (or not-so-little) critters running around in their homes. I feel the pressure. My girls do not understand why we don’t have dogs sharing our couches with us. My wife (who grew up with house dogs) and I have formed sort of a treaty of non-aggression on the issue, although I know in her heart that she would love to hear the pity-pat sounds of little paws dashing across our floors.
How did I get to this place?
- Early childhood trauma. As mentioned, growing up I was surrounded by dogs–all outside. I fondly recall another of my favorites named, Inky. Yep, he was jet black and fun to play with in the yard. My first experience with inside dogs came at a friend’s house. They had this small terror of a mutt who would growl and bite at your pant legs as you walked through the house. I despised that dog and am sure that from somewhere deep within me arose the resolve to never, ever let a mutt like that rule my household.
- It is about the furniture. When the furniture meets dog, furniture usually looses.
- I do not like to be licked. It is not cute. It is not fun. It is not sweet.
- Poop. Need I say more on this?
- Scratching, whining, barking, etc. I do enough of that for everyone at my house!
If you are a dog lover; a dog-in-the-house person; I hope this post is not offensive to you. I respect your right to have all the puppies you desire. When I come to your home I will not complain. I will pet your pooch. I will adjust and enjoy our visit. Likely, I will not think your version of “man’s best friend” is as cute and lovable as you do, but I will manage just fine (unless precious bites at my pant leg). I am at your house.
So, I ask for the same consideration at my house. It is already three-against-one and sometimes I find myself wavering, so I could use the help.
And besides, isn’t there a Bible verse somewhere stating that God intended for dogs to be outside?