Do You See Him?

Conversations that could have happened in Biblical history:At the Red SeaPharaoh: “Absolutely incredible! Behold the great walls of water!”
Chief Scientist: “Just as we predicted, Sire. It is the result of global warming.”
P: “It is safe then to allow my army to pursue the cowardly Hebrews?”
CS: “Of course. Global warming has now passed the point of being reversed.”
P: “So let it be said, so let it be written. After them!”

Somewhere around Mt. Carmel

Keanu: “Duuuude, did you see that old guy Elijah smote those wacked-out Baal freaks the other day on Carmel?”
Biffus: “Yea, man, that was like, totally awesome. That calling-down-fire stunt was sick. Those Baal boys were toasted.”
K: “The old dude must have gotten that Philistine fire blaster I heard about. It is way-cool. I wish I could power that baby up. I wonder where he went with it?”
B: “I heard he was catching some rays by the juniper tree.”

In front of the lion’s den

Gomer: “Shazam! Daniel stayed all night long in this den and them lions did not eat him. Reckon why, Barn?”
Barnoh: “Well, I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Gomer. But to my trained eye there is a simple explanation.”
G: “Really.”
B: “It is obvious that a rare strain of lion flu- felinenius- has completely taken away the lion’s appetite. Daniel was lucky Gomer. Yes sir, the kid was sure lucky.”
G: “Shazam. Barn, you sure are smart, you know that!”
B: “A man in my position has to be. What’s more, Gomer, I happen to know that the effects of felinenius lasts for a total of five days. Now, get in that den with them lions and clean it out.”

The day after the crucifixion

Jubal: “Wow! Yesterday I thought I was a goner. I was scared out of my wits. Those dead people walking around in the dark after that earthquake was just too creepy. I really thought the world was coming to an end. Maybe it was true what they said about that Nazarene who was crucified.”
Earle: “Man, I can’t believe I am hearing you talk like that. Don’t you know everything that happened yesterday was a government conspiracy? Mark my words. They are going to blame it all on the Egyptians so they can invade them and take control of their mineral mines.”
J: “You really think so?”
E: “Of course. I heard that Nazarene guy was just some actor the government hired anyway. I think I saw him in the market this morning.”

On a Monday morning in Troas

Theo: “That was amazing about Paul raising Eutychus from the dead last night. Boy, his heavenly power is something, huh?”
Gossipis: “Paul, schmall. I happen to know Eutychus’ third cousin who- as it turns out- has had one semester of medicine at the school of one Humanus and he talked to someone who was there last night.”
T: “And?”
G: “And from from what he heard he assures me that Eutychus did not fall asleep in that window- he died in that window- of a heart attack! ”
T: “So, he was still dead and Paul raised him.”
G: “Wrong. Apparently it was the fall that raised him. According to Eutychus’ cousin it is not uncommon for a heart to be jarred back into beating in a fall like that. He says it happens all the time.”
T: “What about Paul?”
G: “Paul is nothing but a glory hog. He is just trying to make a name for himself. Dead people can’t be raised. Everybody knows that.”

We would never be guilty of ignoring God when He is standing right in front of us would we? Before you answer….Conversations that likely have happened in church foyers

Bertha: “See how good she looks. Can you believe that she was so close to death just a few weeks ago. ”
Mabel: “Well, she did have the best doctors and medical care available. Her husband left her well off you know.”
B: “She was fortunate he did. If not for his money to afford the best she wouldn’t be here today looking so well.”
M: “You have to give some credit to her hair stylist too.”
———–

Garland: “Did you notice that Chester was waiting on the table this morning?”
Ira: “Yep. I thought I would never see that rascal back at church again.”
G: “He had to hit rock bottom, you know. He almost lost his job and his wife came very close to leaving him. I think that all woke him up.”
I: “Well, let’s see how long it sticks.”
G: “Look out! Here he comes.”

———-

Joy: “Wow! What an uplifting worship we had this morning!”
Grace: “Yeah, aren’t we lucky to have such an awesome worship leader. He can really get the best out of us.”
J: “I agree. I hope we never lose him. He truly is the reason why our worship is so meaningful.”
G: “Now if only he would lead more contemporary songs.”

———-

Husband: “I have great news! I finally got that job I wanted. Isn’t that wonderful!”
Wife: “Oh, I am so glad honey. I know how much it means to you. It is something I have been praying about.”
H: “It turns out that the step-mother of my friend’s nephew works out at the same gym with the wife of a golfing buddy of my new boss. This connection opened the door for me.”
W: “You really think so?”
H: “Sure! Don’t you know? It is not what you know, but who you know.”

———-

Deacon: “Our church is really growing. We are bursting out at the seams. This is fantastic!”
Preacher: “I knew this would happen once we instituted our new church growth strategy.”
Deacon: “Is that what is doing it?”
Preacher: “Certainly. How to Become a Mega-Church without Breaking a Sweat covers all the bases. If the elders had only listened to me earlier we would be even larger by now.”

———-

He is standing right in front of you. Showing love for open eyes to see. Jesus is standing right in front of you. Standing there for He will always be; The Son of Man, the Son of God, The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. The Way, the Truth, the Life, the Victory- Keith Lancaster

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4 Responses to Do You See Him?

  1. Tommy says:

    Alright the first part is so hilarious and the 2nd part is so true. Good post.

  2. JD says:

    Say, Danny … do you think I’ve created a blog monster? lol

  3. Gary W. Kirkendall says:

    hey danny– great blog –what’s with the “old preacher” stuff??? Wewent toschooltogether!!!
    gk

  4. Danny says:

    Well, GWK, I dunno about you but I kinda like being the “old” guy! I can get away with more!

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