Is there anything more devastating to a marriage then the crushing realization of an affair? Trust is shattered. Even if the marriage relationship survives, it will take great patience and effort for it to regain its vitality. Affairs accomplish nothing positive for a marriage, yet all-to-often they happen. And yes, even in Christian homes.
The finger of blame can be pointed in various directions- Too much time spent together at the workplace; One or the other spouse not meeting needs at home; Mid-life crisis; Too much chemical intake; Bored with life; Lust confused with love.
An affair is still an affair and a breaking of a covenant. And while there may be all kinds of reasons, there is no excuse.
“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:6 KJV)
We just do not have the right to toy with our marriage vows by toying with someone not our spouse.
Now, having made all these statments, I can see how affairs develop. I can see how folks who never dreamed of cheating, can get caught up in moments of passion. No one is immune. That is why we must be ever cautious.
There is no such thing as “innocent flirting.” Spending more time with her then with your wife is not wise. Paying more attention to him then to your husband is dangerous. Thinking about what you would do if you could-is just plain stupid and might I add, sinful.
All this applies down at church too. It is why I do not counsel with the sisters alone in my office. Few things hurt our witness more than infidelity.
Affairs can be forgiven. Many a marriage have overcome them to blossom again. But why go there? Even if your marriage is on the shakiest of grounds an affair is not the solution.
Marriage is hard work, it is sweat, it is being unselfish, it is forgiving, it is forbearing. It is also fun, enriching, loving, and rewarding. And it is for life.
The goal of our marriages should be “til death do us part”- not an affair.