Well, maybe. Some would argue that whatever cool quota I was given has been long used up!
But online? Besides blogging, my most enjoyable online activity is fantasy baseball. Cool- for those involved, but for most of the world, kind of geeky.
I have always had old-fashioned leanings. I much prefer to watch old episodes of The Andy Griffith Show than dancing stars, singing idols and biggest surviving losers. So this whole new cyber world reality we live in now challenges me. I constantly stay behind the curve. About the time I catch up with one online component, it is old news.
I can’t text. My fingers are a mess on phone pads. Tweeting frightens me. I can envision having a discussion with another tweeter. “I have 2387 followers” he says. In a tiny, humiliated voice I would reply, “I have three.” Thus having to admit just how uncool online I am.
I am on Facebook. I try to be cool there with witty one-liners and snappy sayings- which usually come across as lame. (An aside- I believe Facebook will eventually take over the world. Soon we will be ordering pizza there, shopping for clothes, doing our banking, conducting church services, asking someone at our dinner table to pass us the potatoes- everything!)
Sometimes I feel like the loneliest guy in the world. I find myself surrounded by people, but who have no time for a conversation with me because they are texting, tweeting, or doing one of a thousand possible things on their cool iphones. I am nostalgic for the day when I could actually chat with someone on the phone. Just chat. Talk about whatever in thirty-five characters or more. Not cool any longer though. When my old, uncool cell phone rings I know it is either my wife (thanks for still calling Terri) or someone wanting something. I am not complaining though. It is actual voice interaction. Sometimes I find myself fighting the urge to ask Punjab from India how his day is going when he calls as an outsourced telemarketer.
I have actually had these type of brief exchanges. “Hey, give me a call sometime and let’s talk about it,” I say. “I will text you” comes the reply. I realize that social networking is here to stay, but in it I am the dorky guy who shows up at the dance without a date and without any dance moves.
Even my eight-year old is cooler online than me. Recently she asked her mom to borrow her iphone so she could listen to a song. I didn’t even know you could!
Offline, I am a fairly confident, competent guy. I am Andy Taylor! Online I stay dazed, confused and intimidated. I am a combination of Barney Fife and Gomer Pyle.
Just this week I tried to “network” my blog. I followed the instructions given me on my computer screen and sent out invitations. I did get a single response. A friend replied to tell me that the link I sent out to my blog did not work! LOL! This in a nutshell sums up my online ineptitude and uncoolness.
If on the world-wide web there will ever be a cyber cemetary, my epitaph will read:
“Here lies Danny. His links hardly ever worked.”