The Least of These

I write this article in an attempt to heighten awareness of mental health issues. The struggle is real and challenging for those who fight this battle everyday–and for their families. Please take a moment and read; take a moment and pray for those, like my daughter, who live with this reality. Perhaps, these words may broaden understanding if just a bit and encourage more sensitivity to those in the grips of this disease.

The diagnosis was severe anxiety with catatonic depression. It was spoken over my 14 year old daughter who lay motionless—unconscious in a hospital bed. It was crushing to hear, but at least we finally had some clarity and direction.

For a couple of years we had none. We did not understand or know how to respond to her. We saw defiance; practiced tough love; made plenty of parental mistakes; hurt with her as she struggled in adolescence trying so hard to figure things out for herself, while navigating the often cruel and unforgiving world of middle school. But her ability to fully process theses challenges like most kids do was somehow off. Her awkwardness in social settings always hindered her. Friends were difficult to make and keep. She became familiar with disappointment. The release of all the resulting emotion at home was frequently tumultuous. We sought counseling, but saw only limited benefit. We tried to do our best. We reacted sometimes in unhealthy ways. We prayed. We cried. Most often we did not know what to do.

Then came that day when she just ceased functioning. Severe anxiety with catatonic depression.

As heart-crushing as that day was, it set us on a better, more informed path. She recovered from that trauma and life moved on—still uneven, but generally better. But still for her, even now several years later, many things that come naturally and easy for most young people, remain painfully hard.

She bravely tries, but it is difficult for her to put herself out there. She feels the stigma that unfairly remains attached to those who live with mental health issues. Friends remain a challenge and she often feels invisible among her peers, overlooked and let down by her Christian university system and rejected by many. She is academically gifted, beautiful both inside and out, but does not see much value in herself. Life just does seem to give her many breaks. And she looks around, imagines everyone else getting those breaks and continually loses the comparison game in her mind. She fights against the constant nagging and often debilitating voice that tells her, “what is the use.” That is her daily battle.

This is severe anxiety and depression with the added burden for her of the inattentive type of ADHD. For those who have never dealt with this, it is almost impossible to realize how defeating and disabling all of it can be. We have heard (and once said some of) it all. Shake it off! Tough love will cure it. Just snap out of it! It is nothing but laziness. Bad parenting. She doesn’t look sick. If she were my daughter…

As I write this, I am aware that even now she is hurting. Disappointments seem to often be her compainion. We keep praying for a win for her. She is stronger than she realizes, but gets weary with the battle. She knows she is loved, but occasionally would like to be affirmed by someone not her family.

She is not unique in her struggle. Mental health illness is ever increasing in our broken world. Yet it remains stigmatized and often stays hidden in the shadows of shame and fear—the unspoken disease. Those suffering are often pushed to the margins. Relationship with them involves an investment of time and patience that many, especially students dealing with their own insecurities, are unable or unwilling to make. Often they end up feeling like they don’t even matter and that is the greatest tragedy of all.

The Good News is that Jesus tends to hang out on the margins. He sees eternal value in the folks there. They are his precious “least of these.” If society positions them last, he inverts that order—elevating them to be first. That is the long-game for believers and a reason for hope when sometimes only hopelessness is felt.

Hope is what I desperately want for her. She has got so much to offer this world. She is a gift from God. Today is her birthday. I love her so much.