The New Adventures of an Old Preacher

Summer is here. What are your plans? Do you have any vacations planned? Maybe a mission trip? Just relaxing? What is on your church summer calendar? Do you even like summertime?

While autumn is my favorite time of the year, the summer at the Dodd house will be busy. We will spend a week at a beach condo, some time at a friend’s cabin in Alabama, probably take in a Braves game later, let the kids do a camp thing or two- and just enjoy.

On the Gateway church front- I will be in Lithuania for a couple of weeks doing camp there and of course, we have a big VBS planned, but other than that it is very laid back here in the summer (except for our youth group). I will have a summer preaching intern for a couple of months and that will be fun. Plus I am taking one summer grad course- so that will keep me busy.

All of this is according to God’s will, of course.

So, share your summer with us. This ain’t no time for the summertime blues you know!

It was another top notch lectureship on the amazing campus of Pepperdine University! The classes and keynotes (in particular Don McLaughlin and Jerry Taylor- they are awesomely gifted) I attended were relevant, challenging and informative. The worship each night led by Ken Young and Hallal was simply powerful- at times moving me to tears and at other times lifting me up in joy-filled praise. Hats off once again to Jerry Rushford and his crew for hosting this breath-of-fresh-Pacific-ocean-air and Spirit-filled event!

For Terri and me the experience was somewhat bittersweet. After doing a such a marvelous job in our class- despite her doubts and anxiety- Terri received a phone call on Wednesday night from her dad informing her that her grandmother was not expected to survive the night. So we spent Wednesday night making arrangements for Terri to fly to Arkansas on Thursday. She was glad we did since she then spent some quality time with her grandmother.  Her grandmother has rallied a bit but remains in very critical condition and is not expected to leave the hospital. Please pray for her- Emil Dale.

At the lectures I ran into some old friends and acquaintances whom I had not seen in years. My old Magnolia Bible College pal, Rick Jannelle was there. Rick is now preaching in Shillington, Pennsylvania and loves it. I saw fellow Pine Grove Church of Christ alumnus, Glenn Newton who was a presenter and who currently preaches at Lakeview in Tacoma, Washington. Terri and I were delighted to see Christina Guy. Christina was a college student and one of our translators in Vilnius, Lithuania. God providentially arranged her move to England where she met and married missionary Nathan Guy. Nathan is now a Bible professor at Harding University and was a presenter. And it is always a joy to visit with Tom Perkins. Tom is on staff at the University church in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He was there with the praise team he leads. He is a gifted worship leader.

I ran into fellow bloggers Steve Pucket and Bobby Valentine (who- as usual- taught a great series of classes. The guy is a genius!). I had the chance to visit with Lipscomb professor David Fleer about their upcoming Sermon Seminar in October. I visited briefly a couple of times with Terry Rush, who besides being a dynamic preacher has a tremendous ability to remember names. Terri and I chatted with Sara Barton who is from the same hometown as Terri (Melbourne, Arkansas) and who serves as a campus minister at Rochester College. It was nice to see Doug Edwards again. Doug is excited about his new work with Camp Manatawny . It was likewise good to see Daniel Jolliff who is now preaching for the Simi Church of Christ in Simi Valley. CA. And it was such a blessing to see old friends, Ronney and Slyvia Wheeler again. I enjoyed lunching with them and meeting a group from the congregation they now serve at the foot of the Superstition Mountians in Phoenix, AZ.

Of course part of the joy of the entire trip was spending time with fellow Gateway folks, Mark Stark, who is our involvement minster and Bud Myer who is one of our shepherds (and the president of Global Christian University). The without-a-doubt highlight of the entire journey was on Thursday night as Mark and I witnessed Bud baptize his Vietnamese foster son in the Pepperdine swimming pool.

I did miss somehow meeting Bobby Ross from the Christian Chronicle. I did attend their luncheon and chatted with Lynn McMillon, but missed Bobby. I also missed connecting with fellow refugee from the Missisippi Delta and blogger Tammie Hacker.

One other highlight for me, but of a different sort- was sitting in the sun on a gorgeous day with the Pacific ocean in the backgroung and catching a few innings of Pepperdine baseball. Their 13th ranked team put on a baseball clinic against the team from San Diego in the early innings I enjoyed.

I will say it once again- if you get the opportunity to attend this event in the future- take it! In my opinion it is one of the most uplifting and encouraging events among the Churches of Christ. The president of the university, Dr. Andy Benton, shared the university’s commitment to our brotherhood and in his words celebrated our heritage. Not only was this great to hear, it was great to experience.

Well, at least those of you who will be there!

Terri and I remain very excited (and a little nervous) about co-teaching a class. Our class is entitled “Resisting the Irresistible; Life in the Belly of the Whale”. We teach on Wednesday afternoon at 2pm in the Irvine Reading Room/Payson Library.

I know there are a bunch of great classes, but we do hope you accept our invitation to attend our class. Last year in my class one man told me afterward that he was actually looking for and expecting another class, but he decided to stay! Hey we will take them anyway we get them. lol Please pray for us as we travel and teach.

I will be blogging again after the lectures. As always thanks for dropping in.

Since I have been writing recently about divorce, I thought I would shift gears with this post and address one way to prevent problems that can lead to divorce.

It really broke my heart. I hung up the phone and hung my head. Why? How could he have done it?-my brother, my fellow-preacher, my friend leaving his family? The explanation sounded all too familiar. It involved the internet, a clandestine meeting and ultimately, betrayal.  Another Christian family victimized by the lies of the deceiver.

He certainly knows his business well. It can all begin so innocently. Very few ever really plan to create a legacy of hurt. But Satan exploits whatever chances he gets to the utmost. Just peek in the crack of his door and if you are not extremely careful he will lead you into the room. This is the very reason Scripture instructs us not to give the devil a “foothold” (Ephesians 4:27). With him, you just don’t go there.

You just don’t flirt back with the attractive person flirting with you if there is a band of commitment on the ring finger of your left hand. It is not simply innocent fun and you just don’t go there.

You just don’t open that first page or click on that first button to expose yourself to questionable and spiritually harmful images. There is a sharp hook behind this bait. You just don’t go there.

You just don’t go into that internet chat room and allow yourself to be drawn into this world of deception. You just don’t go there.

You stay away from the questionable movie, the song with the degrading lyrics, the people who promote ungodliness. You just don’t go there.

“There” is where Satan tells his lies, baits his snares and does his damage. “There” is where families are ruined, lives are destroyed and souls are lost. But don’t just believe me. Consider what James through the Spirit of God said:

“But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” (James 1:14-15)

We simply cannot afford to allow temptation to drag us by our desires to a date with sin which, if we keep company with long enough, will destroy us. We just don’t ever go there in the first place.

We rely on God’s wisdom and “avoid every kind of evil.” (1^st Thessalonians 4:22) We pray to our Father to “lead us not into temptation.” (Matthew 6:13) We faithfully “resist the devil” so he will “flee” from us. (James 4:7)

Remember the door.  When Satan knocks at ours we simply refuse to open it- period- not even for a peek.  We just don’t even go there.

This is my follow-up post to “But You’re a Preacher”. I want to visit this topic once more before moving on. My focus here is broader, of course, than the previous post and- as I try to communicate with the cute little “101″ addition to the title- it will only touch the surface of this complex challenge. And because I am in a “just the facts. ma’am” writing mood, I will cut the fluff and get right to the main points. As always I would appreciate your shared wisdom on this topic.

Here are some simple truths about divorce recovery:

• There is no set formula. Recovery happens in different ways for different people.
• There is no projected time-frame. Again, different people handle their recovery on different schedules. Anyone suggesting it is time “to get over it” to someone recovering from a divorce has usually never been through a divorce themselves.
• Recovery can happen! For those immersed in recent divorce this is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually they can see it and embrace it.

Here is what I see as key elements in the process of recovery:

• Survival. At first, this is the main priority. For anyone left in the shock waves of an unwanted and unanticipated separation and divorce, it is just about making it- one day at a time. And just a footnote here for those wanting to help during this stage- just be there for your hurting friends. Words and cliches like “time heals all wounds”- even spoken in the best of intentions don’t help. Just be there.
• Counsel. I would highly recommend anyone going through divorce to seek counseling- specifically Christian counseling. A good counselor will help sort out all of the many powerful emotions felt in the aftermath of divorce and suggest helpful and healthy ways of processing them. Without this kind of guidance you may turn to other much more spiritually damaging ways to process the anger and hurt you feel. This path will not aid in healthy recovery and may only compound your challenges.
• Write. This was a major catharsis for me. My counselor encouraged me- when I was overwhelmed with emotion- to write it all out, often in the form of a letter addressed to my ex-spouse. Write, then set the letter aside, sleep on it and then re-read it the next day. After this reading in the light of a new day- then decide to send it or throw it away. Many, many letters ended up as a crumpled ball in the waste basket, but just the process of freely expressing these emotions was powerful therapy.
• Surround yourself with support. This goes beyond counseling to your friends. Close friends and family go through divorce with you and sometimes this process is too painful for them and a distance is created between you. Don’t dwell on that. Other friends may be there for you, but their attitude may not be helpful in a recovery process. So, try to surround yourself with folks who will be a positive support- folks who will gently help you move forward with your life.
• Try something new. In my divorce recovery process I found two new passions- regular exercise and snow skiing. I joined a gym and turned into a gym rat. In some ways it was an escape, but the exercise had very positive results in aiding my recovery. I also found the beauty and thrill of skiing to be a releasing experience. Look for something new to get involved in- that is just your thing. It will be more helpful than your may realize at the time.
• But don’t overreact. I did. I went out on a date one week after my divorce was final. Big mistake. I traded in my comfy truck for a Mustang which I could barely fit into. I corrected that about a year later! lol Let the healing take place naturally and don’t rush it by jumping into to things too early.  They could bring more complications than you need at that point in your recovery.
• Acceptance. This has to come- this acceptance of divorce and life as it is. This is not about defeat but about a new reality- one in which there are unique opportunities to serve God as a single person. Related to this, there also has to be an acceptance of the fact that many of the “why” questions will not be answered- ever. This was not easy for me- at first- but eventually it no longer mattered.
• Forgive. This is the most important point by far. This too will come- in time- by letting God lead and working through the recovery process. Forgiveness is the vital element in recovery and being able to fully engage life again. At least it was for me. When I wrote that letter- and mailed it- it fully opened up the next chapter in my life. I was no longer held prisoner by anger, bitterness, hopelessness or any other negative emotion. Unless we fully forgive we will not fully recover.

These are the bascis which helped in my personal recovery journey. The best news in all of this- no matter what form healthy recovery may take- is that God is faithful through it all. His constant source of love, acceptance and hope is the anchor of real recovery. Don’t- in reacting from being put in this unwated divorce situation- neglect your relationship with him. Regardless of how it may “feel”, he will never leave you or forsake you.

Wow, such a short course on such a complicated issue, but I hope you know- if you are going through a divorce- that healing and recovery is not only possible, in God, it is assured. Hang in there with him and see where he takes you on this journey. Wherever it goes- it will be refreshing.

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You are invited to check out this new blog by Danny Holman. Danny is the preacher for my home church in Greenville, MS.