The Sunday-Go-to-Meeting Blues

 

It is the cold and flu season. It has hit us hard down at the church. Just for fun here some of the specific scientific names of the strains that I have identified:

• The Long Gone Flu- it is a version of the Hong Kong flu that only occurs on Sunday. By Monday morning it is long gone.
• Pouting Pneumonia- have to treat those who suffer from this sickness with kid gloves to get them healthy enough to come back to church.
• Football Fever- this is uniquely a sickness occurring during football season. Those stricken must remain immobile in front of a television.
• Hypocrite Hypochondria- highly contagious. Folks stay away from the church house because they don’t want to be around the carrier’s of this disease.
• Sluggard Syndrome- this slows down body functions to the point of a deep Sunday sleep.
• Company Cold- it attacks when folks from out-of-town visit.
• Weekend Washout- the immune system takes a hit after a weekend so jammed pack full of activities. By Sunday the body is completely drained and needs the day to recover.
• Indifferent Influenza- this disease leaves the sufferer in an apathetic stupor which robs the patient of any spiritual passion.
• Preacheritis- this malady attacks the nervous system when a preacher like me comes up with a list like this and causes non-stop, hilarious, and debilitating laughter at the cleverness of it all! 😉

Perhaps you have some to contribute to this list?